Earlier in the week I read the question for today’s blog hop: “What is the Jordan River in your life? What is the one thing about which you would say, “I will do anything God asks me to do-as long as it is not that?” I have thought and thought and thought about the one thing? ……
Had you asked me ten years ago what the Jordan River was in my life, I would have given you a list which reached clear to the ground. A list of circumstances I would have refused to do or was afraid would happen! Of course, this was before I journeyed through many of the very things on the list.
Ten years ago, I didn’t even want to think about sitting at the bedside and watch my folks pass into eternity. However, eight years ago this month, I read Psalms 23 at my Mother’s bedside as she was ushered into heaven. And seven years ago next month, I watched my Dad raise his arms to someone I couldn’t see, turn to wink at me and pass into a life of no more pain or sorrow! While difficult at the time, these two memories are now some of the most precious in my life. What a gift I was given to be able to witness my folks passing into their Heavenly home!
Last evening as hubby and I were visited about some changes we believe are coming to our lives, I had a sense of peace with those changes. Right now we live in a large four bedroom home, the very one I grew up in. It is a home with decades of delightful memories!! Five years ago, when we remodeled this home it was my Jordan River. It has a beautiful kitchen and all the necessities I ever needed and many which we really don’t. No way, no how…would I have considered moving. In fact, I even made the comment to some of my friends that this was my last move. You know what they say about “never say never!” Hubby and I realize there is coming a day when we cross this particular “Jordan,” load up the boxes, the memories and move to the place God has laid on our hearts.
Now back to the question at hand. What is the one “Jordan River” in my life? Is there one? What is the one thing that I can’t fathom doing? I hesitate to type out this answer. Because in the last few years, God pushed me into or allowed the “never” to come in.
Ok. I can do this. Writing it out is no big deal…Deep breath….1, 2…..3!
Overseas missions. …
I closed my eyes and typed it! But I wrote it out!!
With three grandchildren and one more on the way, I can’t imagine answering the call to live overseas. I would miss so much of my children and grandkids lives. Let me be totally honesty here. I know if God would chose to call us overseas, I would kick and scream the whole trip! And pry even during the Missions stay. Not only because of the relationships would I miss at home. But because of the spiders!
Yes, I said spiders. I have this crazy fear of spiders, even granddaddy long legs. In my mind, I know anywhere I might live overseas has to be full of spiders. My mind’s eye sees; brown recluse, tarantulas and black widows. So, for me this is enough to say, “I can’t do this!”
I can give up my home, and make significant other changes….but to live overseas away from our children and grandchildren and live with spiders….well; I guess one could say that is a river I don’t intend to cross!