Finishing up the last bit of cleaning, my eyes caught hubby walking through the kitchen and video taping each room in the house. With a small glance, the tears began to flow. Until that particular moment in time, I honestly thought leaving my family home and hometown would be easy.
Six months earlier, I left my comfort zone and sense of security to accept a position God had provided. So this particular day, I thought cleaning up the house and closing the door would just be routine. However, like so much of this journey, the reality of leaving home was much different than what I had anticipated.
During the last few months, there have been many attempts to put into words what this season in life has been. Yet, the words have not come. After a few more tries, I determined that for this particular time, the intimate moments between God and I were just that…between God and I.
You see, God has been doing some cleaning as well. He has been cleaning out some of my old insecurities, as well as some lingering stinking attitudes!
This morning while cleaning the “love shack” (our two bedroom apartment), and listening to Hillsong, tears welled up in my eyes as the words of this song penetrated my heart. I am not the same woman I was as a young bride in 1983, or mother of five small children in 1999, or that wounded and broken hearted woman in 2009. Nor, am I the same person, who eight months ago walked out the back door of my childhood home and stepped into the calling God has on my life. So, today the song of my heart is…”Whatever you need to do, Lord do in me. The Glory of God fills my life, and I will never be the same again. Fall like fire, soak like rain, Flow like mighty waters, again and again. Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff, And let a flame burn to glorify Your name. I will never be the same again, I can never return, I’ve closed the door. I will walk the path, I will run the race. And I will never be the same again. And I will never be the same again……….And I will never be the same again .”