Home

Tattletale

tattletaleBack in January I blogged about some unfinished business concerning unforgiveness in my life. Here we are 7 months later and I haven’t gotten much further in this business of forgiving.  However, in my devotional time on Friday, God showed a truth I hadn’t seen before.

I was reading through Overcoming Unforgiveness, a chapter in Beth Moore’s book, Praying God’s Word, and she confirms it is ok to talk to God about these people.  She writes, “I mean learning to tell on them to God. Yes, I’m talking about tattling.  Learning to tell God what they’ve done to you and how upset you are.  Learning to tell Him all the things you feel and how unfair you believe someone has been to you.”

This is so NOT christianese for me to say.  But I love the thought of tattling to God!  Growing up I was never given permission to tattle and if I did, I was in big time trouble.  But now, I feel free to tattle all I want to my Abba Father. The thought makes me giddy!

God even confirmed it through one of the verses Beth shared.  Psalm 62:8 says, “Trust in him at all times, O people, pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge!”  Refuge, there’s that word again.  My 2014 word!  Not only has God given me permission to tattle, but He is promising to be my refuge when I do!

Now, let me add a disclaimer here. I realize God doesn’t want us to stay in the tattletale mode from now to eternity. Yet, he does give us permission to pour out our hearts to Him. The Good. The Bad….and more than I like to admit. The Ugly!  My thoughts are that if once God and I get through this tattletale business, we will start working on the unforgiveness.  Doesn’t that sound like a great plan!

For now, I gotta go.  I have some tattling to do!  What about you?

Read More
It’s Time For Us To Do Something

It’s time for us to do something!anguish

There has been another shooting.

More families dealing with unspeakable grief. 

Additional rhetoric by the media.  However, still no long term solutions for the treatment of individuals suffering with a mental illness.

In the song Do Something, Matthew West sings, “I’m sick and tired of all the talking! …. I want to be someone who stands up as says, “I’m going to do something!”  His words echo my heart this morning.  Isn’t it time, we do something?

A couple of opinions you will NOT read in this post are: 1.) It’s the families fault and 2.)  We need gun control.

In this particular tragedy the focus should not be on gun control.   It should be on how our society addresses and treats individuals suffering from a mental illness. 

My heart broke as I read the article which pointed out the shooter’s (Elliot Roger) family had contacted police in late April.  Upon visiting with the young man, the police deemed him stable and left it at that.  In a manifesto written by Elliot, he stated, “If they (police) had demanded to search my room … That would have ended everything. For a few horrible seconds I thought it was all over.”

“What if’s” and “could have been’s,” cannot change the outcome of this latest shooting.  However, serious conversations and immediate action in regards to education and treatment of individuals with mental illnesses can.

To date, I have written very little about the personal aspects my family experienced with Mom’s mental illness.   However, as I watched news coverage and read articles about Elliot Roger.  The memories flooded my mind.  There were those days when I sat next to Mom as she waited for a mental health evaluation.  As a family, we recognized a need for intervention and hospitalization in order for her mood to become stable.  However, even trained professionals, sometimes don’t get it right. The manipulation characteristic in mental illness can, at times, be difficult for even professionals to recognize. There were numerous instances when we were sent on our way, and Mom continued down the slippery slope into mania and/or depression.  Most of the time when Mom threatened to harm, it was to herself.  As I recall, there were only two instances she threatened harm to someone else.  Both times, she was taken to a psychiatric ward before the threat was carried out. It goes without saying that I am thankful Mom received the needed intervention and treatment, yet, I can’t overlook the fact there are hundreds of individuals and families, like Elliot Roger’s, who do not.

So, when reading the account on Rodgers, I couldn’t fault the police.  They are not trained mental health professionals.  They did what they were supposed to do, a welfare check.  I have no doubt the manipulative side of the mental illness Elliot suffered with, talked them into believing all was well.

Today, we know all is was not well!

Today, our entire nation should grieve along with the Roger’s family.  This family recognized the signs, they asked for help.  However, somewhere between April 30th and May 23rd, the system failed.  I am not talking about the police department.  And I certainly am not talking about the family.  I know from personal experience how frustrating it can be.  You realize a family member needs intervention and immediate psychiatric treatment, yet there is nowhere to turn.  I can’t tell you how many times we heard “she needs to be threatening harm to herself or someone else, before we are able to intervene.”  

Why does it have to get to that point? Individuals suffering from mental illnesses are typically not going to recognize and/or admit they are on a slippery slope spiraling downward. The family members who deal with these illnesses on a daily basis know better than any professional or policeman when their loved one is in danger.

When the individuals doing the evaluation listened to Mom instead of us, I always went away feeling angry, frustrated and helpless.   Even though I know that sooner than later, she would be admitted.  It was the in between time, the waiting and wondering what was going to happen time, that was paralyzing.

The helplessness and frustration had to be overwhelming for the Rogers family.  They too had to be waiting and wondering what next.  And the “what next” which came for Elliott and the entire Rogers family is something many of us will never, ever have to walk through.  They are experiencing a grief few of us will ever endure and a sorrow no one should ever have to bear.

Matthew West continues to sing, “Right now, it’s time for us to do something. If not now, then when will we see an end? To all this pain. It’s not enough to do nothing. It’s time for us to do something…”

Before another individual struggling with a mental illness reaches their point of no return.

Before another shooting.

Before more families have to deal with unspeakable grief.

Before we talk anymore about gun control, let’s take a good hard look at mental illnesses, the diagnosis and treatment for… and then begin to search for positive, life changing solutions.

It’s time for us to do something!

Read More
A Change is Gonna Come

detourRoad Work Ahead.  

Warning:  Construction Area.  

Right Lane Closed.  

Detour ahead. …

This spring it seems that every street I travel on in Lawrence has road construction going on.  And let me say this, I am not the most patient when it comes to road construction.  Inevitably, when the right lane is closing, someone speeds up and wants in ahead of me. Due to the road work, I often have to change the course of my travel.   And why does my travel time from one place to the next seem to get longer each time I am in the car?

As I sat down to write this post, I realized how my life parallel’s road construction. 

 “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”  (Philippians 1:6 NASB)

Ok, so I know He is doing a work in me.  I realize with road construction, once the work is complete, the “ride” is always smoother.  However, some days I desire for His work in me to be over with already!  I want to speed up the process and in doing so; I get ahead of my God.

Then there are those days, He takes me in a direction totally opposite of my plans.   A detour of sorts.  Traveling on road I am unfamiliar with.  A course which scares the “bejeebers “out of me!   

The past sixteen months God has orchestrated course changes I would have never dreamed possible.  Not only has there been a geographical difference, there has been foundational development.  Even with all the changes, there is one thing I am sure of……He isn’t done with me yet….a change is gonna come!

Read More